The world is grayer. The stars have lost their sparkle. Sharp edges have dulled. And my heart has another fissure, bleeding more love and all things good with the death of my sister-in-law and friend,...Read More
Year after year this date greets me in many different way I can never accurately predict. It used to feel like an attack—an onslaught of sadness and so many other overwhelming feelings. I dreaded th...Read More
This caught my eye on my calendar the other day as I approach the one-year anniversary of the loss of my sweet puppy girl, Kallie. It caught my eye, and–surprisingly–made me smile because ...Read More
The older I get, the harder it is to mourn a life I didn’t have. -Me, today June 1, 2011 was also a Wednesday. I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t checked the calendar just now. As I s...Read More
I’m pretty ardent with the attention I pay to my calendar and to my journal (and to my blog, for that matter), marking it with momentous occasions—both good and bad. Ken’s cancer and death were ...Read More
Being a writer is foundational to who I am. It’s integral. And it’s given me gifts over the years, and certainly played a key part in helping me to work through my grief when Ken died in 2011....Read More
I wrote this letter to myself on March 24, 2011 in my diary. It was the week Ken was in the hospital before being released to come home for hospice care where he died on June 1. It was one day after o...Read More
My love, June 1, 2015 means it’s been four years since you left this world. No matter how much time passes, it doesn’t really make sense to me. Our life together is so vivid and textured, ...Read More
I didn’t dread today. And that didn’t surprise me. It didn’t take me by surprise. And that didn’t surprise me either. I feel something very special. Ethereal. When I look at th...Read More
When I’m feeling a little under the weather, I drink hot tea. I don’t really like it under any other circumstances. I remember my mom drinking a lot of it when I was growing up. And still does. Fo...Read More