It was a cold, rainy October night in 2014. I was snuggled up on my sofa in front of the fire–probably drinking wine–when there was a knock at my door. I had only lived there since January, but in a secure building, I’d never had a knock on my door unless I’d buzzed them inside. When I opened the door, there stood a young woman, smiling and shivering in the rain…with something in her coat. It was her little dog!

It was my next-door neighbor, who I’d seen several times since I’d moved in but never talked to at great length. She explained her boyfriend was out of town and her doorknob had broken, locking her out. She asked me for a screwdriver to jimmy her window to “break in” to her unit. I gladly obliged and got the window open for her, allowing her to reach the doorknob and get inside.

The next day, I found a sweet thank you note on my door with a Starbucks gift card. This was the beginning of something; I just knew it.

Adina and her then-boyfriend–now-husband–Matt soon became like family to me over the ensuing 6 years I lived next door to them in the private courtyard of a converted factory on Chicago’s north side. Countless wine nights that grew to include other neighbors and friends, birthdays, bbq’s and the last several New Year’s Eve’s spent together–except the last one. (Thanks, COVID.)

I fell pretty hard for these two as friends and neighbors. Their generous hearts made it very easy. Spending time with them was fun and comfortable from the beginning. The first time I trekked next door for some wine and snacks, their kitchen island was replete with delicious morsels of all kinds. “Who else is coming?” I asked, marveling at all the goodies. “Just you.”

This is who they are.

When they invited me over in August 2020 for wine night (woot!), we sat on their patio, and they revealed their evil plan to sell their unit…and move to the burbs! I knew this little Valhalla in North Center wouldn’t last forever. Really. I remember every time we hung out to truly appreciate how wonderful it was to have close friends so…close! But both of them working from home (again, thanks, COVID) was making for cramped quarters. And they just happened to stumble upon a house that was perfect for them…and their little dog too. It was a decision that made perfect sense to me. I’d missing living next door to them, but I was happy for them.

But, let’s rewind.

Buying my first home in that converted factory was definitely the decisive beginning of an important chapter in my life–one where I redefined me as me and not half of a couple (the kenron scandal, we called ourselves). It was a time where I embarked upon building a new social structure for myself–boldly trying to make friends where I could–something that hadn’t previously come very naturally to me. I transformed into a new version of myself, embracing my gifts, making connections where they made sense, and learning valuable lessons about myself along the way.

My condo was a timber loft space in a converted factory. 14-foot ceilings, exposed timber beams, and a unique position of being one of a handful of units in the internal courtyard within the 60-unit building. It was a new chapter—a new volume, actually—as I built a new life for myself in the aftermath of my husband Ken’s death in 2011 after his tenacious fight against cancer. We’d shared an amazing 10 years. I wondered what the next 10 would bring, certain they couldn’t compare.

Or could they…In a different, but very profound way?

Along with Matt and Adina, we assembled a bigger group of friends (Parris and her husband Eric, and Megan, the most recent resident) in the building: the courtyard crew was born! Besides hosting each other for events with plenty of food, wine and laughter, we became part of each other’s lives. Particularly, after COVID’s winter lockdown began, we held a few socially distant outside get-togethers or walks, and–maybe most importantly–we checked on each other during the oddity and uncertainty of lockdown.

Last July, I had the great privilege of seeing Matt and Adina get married. Their original wedding date in April was pushed because of the uncertainty of the time. But the responsible ceremony and reception went off without a single hitch. Adina took my breath away when she walked down the aisle, and I even tear up now thinking about it. She was a spectacularly beautiful bride on the arm of Prince Charming Matt. As the ceremony progressed, I was struck by close we’d become and how grateful I was to have them in my life.

There’s a funny thing that happens when the life you planned evaporates, and you mourn it. You pay your respects to it and spend a lot of time wondering about all the “what ifs.” But in the course of healing–without really realizing it–you move forward to build whatever new life awaits you–and it can still be dazzling and brimming with love, kindness, laughter and enduring friendship.

When I told a friend of mine that Matt & Adina were moving, she asked “Aren’t you sad?” All I could think was, “This isn’t sad. What would be sad is if I’d never met them.”

Also, what helped it not be sad was that a couple of weeks after the infamous moving talk, I decided to sell my place too! I wanted more space and a yard for Kallie. And now, I live about 10 minutes away from my amazing neighbors…who have become my amazing friends. Sure, I have to put on shoes to visit them, but it’s worth it. And now, the courtyard crew has more room to party!

Good neighbors are golden. And there is nothing more comforting than finding your tribe and a sense of belonging right next door.