I met a handsome stranger in a little neighborhood bar twenty years ago today. Twenty years! Ken’s and my paths crossed permanently on March 23, 2001. And the universe just wouldn’t let me forget about it today. It seems like I had to look at my calendar more times today than any day in my entire life. Today is March 23, Ron. Hey, Ron, it’s March 23! Did you hear, Ron? March 23 is TODAY!

I get it! Sheesh.

I’m still astounded by how decade-old grief can still sneak up on me. But, it’s a humbling reminder that I would well know: you never get over the death of a loved one; you just learn to live with it. And, of course, it does get easier over time. I wasn’t actively trying to avoid anything, but work has been busy since starting my new job in January, that the days have flown by.

But I’ll admit, I felt so tired–drained–today. I thought I slept well, but today was hazy. In my head. And it’s my own fault. For not staying ahead of this and addressing it where I do it best: here in my blog.

However much the universe wants me to feel something today, I can play a role in exactly what that is. Is there a sadness around dates like today? Of course. And that’s okay. Normal, even. I know there is a perceived social contract that people shouldn’t really talk about grief or loss after a year two.

But that’s false.

I’m unapologetic about sharing my journey of grief–even 10 years later. Having said that, today’s blog isn’t about loss or grief or sadness. It’s about how I met Ken and that he organically changed me and my life for the better–and in my opinion, he continues to do so. I think I get surprised when these feelings sneak up on me because Ken is ever-present in my day-to-day life. Not just in some of the artifacts around my house, but also the whisper I’ve talked about before that encourages me and soothes me and reminds me about so many good things in my life. If I ever have trouble looking on the bright side or seeing the glass half full, I hear him.

Loss is the flip side of love. And great loss is the flip side of great love. You can’t be grateful to have one and disdainful of the other. They go hand in hand. They are immutably connected; reflections of each other. Not innately good or bad. Just a universal imperative.

I’m so lucky to have met Ken and fallen in love with him. That’s what I want to remember about today. It was the beginning…of everything.